DeRailed

Do you remember the book "The Little Engine That Could"? It was the story of a tiny blue train engine that was asked to move a much larger train up and over a mountain. The train did it by repeating "I think I can" over and over.

Well many of us are like that train. We are struggling up and down mountains with things in our lives. God has given us a vision or He has laid out a path forward for us. We are praying and praising and seeking God's mercy. We know God has our back so we just are just chug-chug-chugging along. Moving forward into our destiny. "I think I can. I think I can. I think I can". Chug chug chug.

We get close to the top of the mountain and know that it's a coast down the other side. But guess what? Right near the top of the hill, there's a brick wall on your tracks, just out of your sight. You don't see it coming and by the time you do it's too late to stop. Then all of a sudden, despite all the work that you have been doing, all the praying and praising and seeking, you hit that wall.

What the...? Wait a durn minute! This wasn't supposed to happen! I was chugging along nicely getting where I know God was sending me. God told me that this thing was all fixed. God said that there was healing for me. God said that the victory was mine. Why did this happen?

Whhhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyy??????

Frustration comes. Anger builds. Doubt creeps. Tears overflow. Am I crazy? Did I imagine all that God had told me? Maybe this wasn't for me after all? Why didn't He warn me about the wall? Why don't I hear Him telling me He's sorry? Is He even here?

I don't even feel like praying. I feel so empty. Then comes the confrontation. Oh He's gonna hear from me. Why? I thought... You said... You promised... Where are you? I'm doubting... Do you even hear me? Do you even care? You have to show yourself! I need to hear from you now! And it had better be something big and majestic! I can't have any doubt that it's you. Do you hear me?!?

I get the answer, but it's not a great fireworks show or great explosion of lights and sound. It's a whisper. The loudest whisper of my life.

"Dear heart, you built that wall yourself. One brick was expectation. Another was distrust. Another was anxiety. One was fear. But most of them were built because you want everything that you want, when you want it and how you want it. You heard me say that there was healing... and there is. But I didn't say it was yesterday. Yes you have victory, but you're running around cheering as if the race is over and it's not. Our work is not yet finished. You got comfortable in My work and forgot about your own. Your job is to seek My will to be done, no matter what. Your job is to lean not unto your own understanding. Your job it to humble yourself. Your job is to let go and let ME!"

"My child, you hit that wall and instead of just moving the bricks out of the way and keeping it moving, you let the enemy take those bricks and hit you upside the head with lies. You allowed the voices to tell you things that aren't true. You allowed seeds of doubt to be planted and watered them with your tears."

He continued, "But I have not changed. My word is true. I am not a man that I should lie. I am faithful even in the very midst of your faithlessness. I have not turned my back on you. I told you that lo I am with you even until the end. Even after you turn away from me. Even after you harden your heart. Even after you yell and scream and cuss. I am still here and I am still God. I still have a purpose and and plan. I STILL LOVE YOU!"

So here I am. I've picked myself up, dusted myself off and I'm moving bricks off my track. I am lining myself up with God's will again. I am focusing my eyes on the vision and the path in front of me. I am remembering the truth of who God is. I am realizing that He is who He says He is and He does just what He says He's going to do. I am getting myself out of the way and getting back on the job.

Chug chug chug "I know God can. I know God can. I know God can" Chug chug chug.

In love,
Mona

I'm Expecting!

Picture it...Christmas Eve and I'm 8 years old. Grandma's kitchen is full - full of women cooking, stirring, tasting and basting. Laughter rings all throughout the house. It's warm in the house, not from the thermostat, but because the oven is on and all the burners are going. It's also warm from the love of family and togetherness. And oh the smells...turkey, greens, sweet potato pie, pineapple upside down cake. Oh my!

I am standing in the living room in front of a large Christmas tree. The lights dance around the branches, softly glowing behind the angel hair and tinsel. The 5-point star blinks 'hello' on top. And underneath...spread all around are boxes of all shapes and sizes neatly wrapped with colorful paper and sticky bows. Each one of those boxes holds a secret that can't be told until morning. It is the Barbie doll head I wanted? Could this one be the GI Joe with the kung-fu grip for my brother? Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robot? Baby Alive? Easy Bake Oven? I expect that this is going to be the best Christmas ever. How am I ever going to get to sleep? I hope I fall asleep so Santa will come and bring the big presents that don't get put under the tree, like the bike or the doll house!

If I'm honest, I am still like that little girl today. But now, I have expectations and hopes that extend far beyond what I am going to get for Christmas. We all do.

We hope that we don't lose our jobs so we can pay bills.

We hope our daughter doesn't lose another baby.

We hope our son will get off, and stay off, drugs.

We hope we can pay that mortgage or rent one more month.

I realize that throughout my whole life I have expected a lot from folks. I expected my parents to love me no matter what I did. I expected my brother to fight with me and protect me at the same time. I expected my husband to provide for me and to love me til death did us part. I expected my children to respect me and listen to me and know I was always right. I expected my bosses to support me and to believe that the place would fall apart without me. I expected everyone to accept me for who I was, no questions asked.

Those poor folks. How could they ever live up to my ever-growing expectations? Did they even know that I had these burdens on them? Nope. But God help them if they failed me. And you know what? At some point or another they all did. Not necessarily intentionally but somehow, in some way they did. Because I expected from them that which is impossible.

I have learned, quite the hard way, that there is only one in whom I can expect anything, and receive everything.

"I say to myself 'the Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him.' The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him." Lamentations 3:24-25

See, I found that God is the only one who can actually meet my expectations. He cannot fail me. BUT, I can only have one expectation: THAT GOD'S WILL BE DONE. And if that is my hope, then I have to surrender my life and the lives of my loved ones to God's will. Sounds easy doesn't it? Well it ain't! It's a daily prayer...sometimes an hourly prayer. It's often been a minute-by-minute prayer. Lord, let your will be done.

Let your will be done.

Strengthen me to deal with whatever your will is.

Give me peace in my heart for whatever your will is.

Help me find joy in it.

Teach me about myself in it.

Increase my prayer life in it.

Let me be an example in it.

Get all the glory and honor in it.

All of those people in my life...they just got off lucky. Because now I only expect them to be who they are and to only do what they can. Because at the end of the day, I am praying God's will in our lives. And I know that He won't fail.

He said "...as I was with Moses, so I will be with thee; I will not fail thee nor forsake thee."Joshua 1:5. "For I am the Lord, I change not." Malachi 3:6

So every day I am expecting, like a kid on Christmas Eve, waiting for the Glory of the Lord to be revealed. What a gift!

In love,

Mona

Why Oh Why

I know the most adorable 3-year-old in this entire world! Not only is she beautiful, she is also very smart and funny and talks better than a lot of adults I know. Now for the sake of full disclosure she is my God-daughter but that doesn't make her any less brilliant, does it!?

Now, like most 2-3 year olds, she is very inquisitive. What a great word... "inquisitive". That's the adult way of saying she asks way too many doggone questions! She's curious about the world and how it works. Why is this? Why is that? What are you doing? Where are you going? How come this? How come that? Know what? Guess what? Whew!! It can be exhausting. But how else is she going to learn if she doesn't ask, right?

Well that inquisitiveness never leaves us, even after we grow up. The questions become more thoughtful and and thought-provoking. The questions get tougher and harder and the answers are much more elusive. But do we ever stop asking "Why oh why?"

Why was she molested? Why did he go unpunished?

Why do these young children keep dying on the streets?

Why are they fighting for their very lives because of cancer? Kidney disease? Congestive heart failure? Multiple sclerosis? Diabetes?

Why are my children struggling with drug abuse? Mental disorders? Isolation? Depression? Suicide?

Why do I feel so alone?

Why oh why, God? Are you listening? We are your very inquisitive children and we are asking why?

There is no simple answer to these questions. If only it worked that way. Remember what God said, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts,neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD." Isaiah 55:8

The bible is full of examples of suffering, trials, tribulations and circumstances. We are not the first and won't be the last. Small comfort when you are going through, right?

The Apostle Paul was the poster child for suffering, having endured much in the spreading of the Gospel and he spoke well of suffering but mostly about enduring.

"We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us" 2 Corinthians 1:8-11

Paul also spoke about the thorn in his side. He said "Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:8-10

Now I must admit I sometimes have a tough time "delighting" in my persecutions and difficulties. But when I stop and look back from where God brought me from I can see that He has been working on me the whole time. Once I let go and told God to have His way, I realized that I wouldn't be praying so much if it hadn't been for "this" situation. I wouldn't be writing this blog if "that" hadn't happened.

Ask yourself, how has God changed you since you've been going through? Who have you encouraged by your actions? Who has seen you struggle and found strength in how you carry yourself? Are you praying more? Praising more? Seeking His face more? Do your kids see you on your knees? Does someone feel like they can go one more day because they have seen you do it? Are you praying for others, even while seeking answers on your own behalf?

We may not know yet what God has in store. We may not have the answers we want today, but we have faith "and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

Yes this life can be tough, but it's what we do that makes the difference. It's our attitude, our faith, our trust, our submission, our resiliance but most importantly, it's our God.

And remember..."We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." 2 Corinthians 4:8-10

In love,
Mona

Steady.....steady

35 years (and well over 100 pounds ago) I used to take dance and gymnastics classes. I wore little pink or black leotards with white tights and pink ballet slippers. I was adorable and I was pretty good. As a gymnast I really had a bright future ahead of me but alas it wasn't to be.

I loved gymnastic class though. I could do handstands, headstands, cartwheels, round-offs, roll-overs, flips and back bends. I was even getting pretty good on the uneven bars but the one piece of equipment that just had me scared out of my wits was the balance beam. The balance beam is a piece of wood 16' long and 4" wide and sits about 4' off of the ground. It was a very intimidating slab of wood. I mean honestly, I could fall off and break my neck!
But they didn't just throw me right up there on that 4' monster. They started us off with a low beam that sat just a few inches off the ground. Can I be honest and tell you that it was still very intimidating, even though it was down on the floor! It was soooo narrow. But the coach used to hold our feet and teach us how to walk....one foot in front of the other...slow and steady at first just to get us used to it.

"Righteousness goes before him and prepares the way for his steps" Psalm 85:13

But my biggest problem with the beam was that it was only 4" wide. That's about the width of the average foot. That means I couldn't stand planted with my feet side by side. It had to be one foot in front of the other. I was wobbly and unsteady at first. But then I learned that I had to use my whole body to keep my balance. My arms and my head where just as important as my feet. I had to keep my arms outstretched in order to keep my balance. I had to keep my head aligned with my body. Where my head went, my feet would follow. I had to keep my eyes focused ahead of me - I could not look at my feet or I would surely fall.

Did you know that God has a purpose and a plan for our lives? So if there's a plan then He has already thought through what we need and how we need it. He isn't going to just throw us up on the 4' tall beam without some help and some training. He seeks to hold your feet while you practice walking along His path.

"If the LORD delights in a man's way, He makes his steps firm" Psalm 37:23

He also gives us an instruction manual, the Holy Bible, full of examples of others who have walked along that path before us. We have a Master Gymnast in Jesus Christ, who went to the Spiritual Olympics and won Gold! He can teach us how to walk, and then jump and maybe even do flips on this beam. He provided a great coach in the Holy Spirit, to teach us to hold our heads high and straight. To remind us to keep looking ahead and not back to the past or down at our feet. To cheer us along when we make progress and to console and encourage us when we fall, which we will. To tell us to get up, dust off and get back on the path.

See even though the beam is only 4" wide, with the right instructions, guide and coach you can learn how to maneuver across it - at times wobbly and nervous, and other times with fluid grace - BUT NEVER ALONE.

Walk in love, walk as children of light, walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

In love,
Mona

Off The Wall

When the world is on your shoulder
Gotta straighten up your act and boogie down
If you can't hang with the feeling
Then there ain't no room for you this part of town

- Off The Wall, Michael Jackson 1987
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When I was a little girl, my father used to tell me that I was hard-headed all the time. He'd say that I couldn't just take his word for it that the wall was hard. I would have to go and ram my head against it to find out for myself. Repeatedly. Well Dad was right of course. All of the bumps and cuts and bruises I've sustained over the years prove it.

Recently I've been bouncing on and off of walls all over the place.
How often do we talk about laying something on the altar and letting God handle it - but don't actually do it?

How often do we "give it over" and then proceed to worry and wonder and question and speculate?

How often do we say to God "handle the big parts and I'll handle this little small part right here."

How often do we "give it over" but attempt to control what we have asked God to control?

How often do we "give it over" only to take it right back by the seemingly innocent act of praying for the outcome you want rather than the outcome that God wants? OUCH!

Know what I just figured out? I had been asking God to take the problem. I wasn't giving it to Him. Take what You want to take and I'll keep the rest. Take the big stuff and I'll keep the small stuff. Take the hard parts and I'll manage the easy parts.

I realize that every time I keep some or take some back (which is often...) I hit a wall. And I'm going to keep hitting it over and over and over until I am dizzy and about to pass out. Until I'm all exhausted, sweaty and wrung out. Until all I can do is throw my hands up in complete despair and cry out to God "I give up! Uncle! I can't do anything with this anymore! HERE IT IS! LET YOUR WILL BE DONE!"

And when I finally give it to Him...ALL of it - every last itty bitty bit - something happens. When I at last release it to His Mighty Hands to work it out, all I am left with is God's peace. Nothing more and nothing less. The peace of God and the knowledge that IT IS ALREADY DONE. All I have left to do is PRAISE HIS HOLY NAME!

Oh, by the way, that "wall"...that's God. My Structure. My Support. My Rock. My Strong Tower. My Fortress. My Protection.

"For I,’ says the LORD, ‘will be a wall of fire all around her, and I will be the glory in her midst." Zechariah 2:5

"The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe." Proverbs 18:10
"For thou art my rock and my fortress; therefore for thy name's sake lead me, and guide me." Psalm 31:3

Hit the wall. Get bumped. Get bruised. Get it gone. Get your peace.

In love,
Mona

Shoelaces

I cannot remember when I learned to tie my shoes, but I do remember when my son Andrew was learning. I showed him over and over and over again but he just couldn't figure it out. Once he got so frustrated that he threw his shoe across the room and it landed in the corner. I didn't say anything. I just let it be and went into the kitchen to cook dinner. After a time I noticed how quiet he was and when I looked, Andrew was sitting in the corner with that shoe, twisting the laces around his little fingers. He was bound and determined to get it that day!

But even after he mastered tying his shoes, they would never stay tied for too long. So he could spend all day tying and re-tying those laces. But if I tied them, then they would stay tied all day. I pulled them tight and did a double knot. They weren't coming undone!

Right now, we are trying to help God accomplish something. We are going around trying to help Him tie up the loose ends of our lives. Tie up that wayward child. Tie up that job. Tie up those marriage vows. Tie up the doctor's diagnosis. Tie up ourselves and this Christian walk. And God is saying, "but if you let ME tie them, THEY WON'T COME UNDONE."

"You who laid the foundations of the earth, so that it should not be moved forever" Psalm 104:5

"But the word of the Lord stands forever" 1 Peter 1:25

If we let God handle it, I mean really handle it...in His time and according to His purpose...IT WILL LAST FOREVER and nothing or no one will be able to change it. God is forever and so are His promises, His works, His covenants and His love!

"For I am the LORD, I do not change" Malachi 3:6

"Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever You had formed the earth and the world, even from everlasting to everlasting, You are God" Psalm 90:2

I know that sometimes it is really difficult to understand or comprehend what God is doing in our lives.

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways" Isaiah 55:8-9

He doesn't move when we want him to....but oh when He does.....

"He does according to His will in the army of heaven and among the inhabitants of the earth. No one can restrain His hand or say to Him, “What have You done?” Daniel 4:35

Let God tie your shoelaces today. He promises that they won't come undone.

In love,
Mona