Endings and Beginnings

Every New Year's Eve when I was a little girl, my brother and I were allowed to stay awake until midnight. I remember running around in my footie pajamas or nightgown waiting for the countdown to the end of the year on Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin Eve. And once the ball dropped, my parents always allowed us to have a small sip of champagne (hey....it was the 70's!!) and we toasted the New Year together. If my brother and I were at my grandmother's house we missed out on the sip and we always had to start the new year by praying. Great memories!

There's always been something special about that moment at midnight, the ending of a year and the fresh new beginning of another. Somehow we think that as soon as the clock turns twelve then everything that happened in the previous year goes away and we get a fresh new slate.

We want to rush into that new year so that we can forget about all of the bad things that happened in the last one. We can put away the family that we lost, the arguments that we had, the sins we committed, the recession, the wars, the job losses and the like. The danger in thinking that way is that we often tend to forget the good things that happened as well.

Can we afford to forget that we woke up 365 mornings? Dare we not remember that no matter what happened the day before, that God's mercies were brand new when we opened our eyes. God's grace was upon us, even in the dark times.

Can we forget the praying we did? Even if the prayers weren't answered like we wanted, it was time spent with God.

Can we really put behind us the trials and tribulations we endured? Each one was an opportunity that God gave us to get closer to Him, to deepen our relationship with Him and to learn about who we are in Him.

Can we forget the tears we shed? Can we possibly think they were wasted? God doesn't think so. "You number my wanderings; put my tears into Your bottle; are they not in Your book?" Psalm 56:8

We all went through a lot in the last year. Some of it bad and some of it good. The question is whether we let the experiences bring us closer to God or further away. Do we ask "why me?" or do we follow Paul and "count it all joy"?

When I think back on my challenges in 2009, I will remember what God said:

"I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come." Isaiah 46:10. He knew what I would have to endure and already had my way out in the plan.

"I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End." Revelations 22:13. God is there always, at the end of my sorrows and the beginning of my joy.

"Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning." Psalm 30:5.

And the morning begins at 12:00:01 a.m. just at the stroke of midnight.

Whether is 1979, 1999 or 2009, life is a cycle of endings and beginnings, starts and stops, ups and downs, life and death, so be ready. I pray with all my heart that you always remember that God loves you. That He has a purpose and a plan for your life. That YOU are His favored child. That the thoughts He has towards you are good and not evil, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Remember that He sent His son to die for you and that His saving grace is yours to have and to keep. And that He promised to be with you, even unto the end.

Happy New Year! In 2010 I resolve to love more, forgive faster and speak life every day.

Oh and maybe, just maybe, shop less.

In love,

Mona

My Gift

It's going to be Christmas soon and of course I have been running around shopping and decorating and spewing Christmas Spirit over everyone I come across. I love going to the mall and looking at people's decorations (some gorgeous and some scary! LOL). I love Christmas carols and everything about this time of year. I know that "Jesus is the reason for the season" but for me this year it's a little bit more.

On December 4, 2008 my Aunt Clorica died. Clo died. It's horrible to even type that. But she died and our whole family has been changed by it. My grandfather Fred Ray died back in 1997 and my grandma Jessie died in 2002. And while I was hurt and saddened by losing them, the only grandparents I had ever known, losing Clo has been devastating for us, her sister and brothers and nieces and nephews.

Why? Because she was life. She was family. She was togetherness. She was peace and compassion and balance and forgiveness and love. She was the glue that brought the family together for holidays and celebrations. She would barbecue on Flag Day if she thought she could get us all in one place!

She was fun and funny and had a laugh and a smile that could light up the darkness. And the world got a little bit dimmer last year. But not so dim that we forget. I think I am so infused with Holiday cheer this year because I have to be for Clo. She would be quite upset if we didn't get together and eat and play and love each other. And I feel responsible for making sure that we do that. Making sure that we know how much we mean to each other whether we talk once a day or once a year. It's about the family and Clo was family!

This post is about honoring the aunt who was like a mother to me and my brother when we were growing up. I could talk to her about anything and everything. She lent me more money than I should ever admit and she loved me like nobody's business. She loved us all like that.

All of us are going through things, but remember to tell your family that you love them. No matter if they're behaving right or not. Spread love this season and every season.

Merry Christmas Aunt Clo. Our hearts are so heavy from missing you today but we also realize that every moment with you was one of the greatest gifts that God could have given us. And I will spend the rest of my days making you proud. I love you. Take care of Fred & Jessie!

In love,
Ray-mone ~ her nickname for me :)

DeRailed

Do you remember the book "The Little Engine That Could"? It was the story of a tiny blue train engine that was asked to move a much larger train up and over a mountain. The train did it by repeating "I think I can" over and over.

Well many of us are like that train. We are struggling up and down mountains with things in our lives. God has given us a vision or He has laid out a path forward for us. We are praying and praising and seeking God's mercy. We know God has our back so we just are just chug-chug-chugging along. Moving forward into our destiny. "I think I can. I think I can. I think I can". Chug chug chug.

We get close to the top of the mountain and know that it's a coast down the other side. But guess what? Right near the top of the hill, there's a brick wall on your tracks, just out of your sight. You don't see it coming and by the time you do it's too late to stop. Then all of a sudden, despite all the work that you have been doing, all the praying and praising and seeking, you hit that wall.

What the...? Wait a durn minute! This wasn't supposed to happen! I was chugging along nicely getting where I know God was sending me. God told me that this thing was all fixed. God said that there was healing for me. God said that the victory was mine. Why did this happen?

Whhhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyy??????

Frustration comes. Anger builds. Doubt creeps. Tears overflow. Am I crazy? Did I imagine all that God had told me? Maybe this wasn't for me after all? Why didn't He warn me about the wall? Why don't I hear Him telling me He's sorry? Is He even here?

I don't even feel like praying. I feel so empty. Then comes the confrontation. Oh He's gonna hear from me. Why? I thought... You said... You promised... Where are you? I'm doubting... Do you even hear me? Do you even care? You have to show yourself! I need to hear from you now! And it had better be something big and majestic! I can't have any doubt that it's you. Do you hear me?!?

I get the answer, but it's not a great fireworks show or great explosion of lights and sound. It's a whisper. The loudest whisper of my life.

"Dear heart, you built that wall yourself. One brick was expectation. Another was distrust. Another was anxiety. One was fear. But most of them were built because you want everything that you want, when you want it and how you want it. You heard me say that there was healing... and there is. But I didn't say it was yesterday. Yes you have victory, but you're running around cheering as if the race is over and it's not. Our work is not yet finished. You got comfortable in My work and forgot about your own. Your job is to seek My will to be done, no matter what. Your job is to lean not unto your own understanding. Your job it to humble yourself. Your job is to let go and let ME!"

"My child, you hit that wall and instead of just moving the bricks out of the way and keeping it moving, you let the enemy take those bricks and hit you upside the head with lies. You allowed the voices to tell you things that aren't true. You allowed seeds of doubt to be planted and watered them with your tears."

He continued, "But I have not changed. My word is true. I am not a man that I should lie. I am faithful even in the very midst of your faithlessness. I have not turned my back on you. I told you that lo I am with you even until the end. Even after you turn away from me. Even after you harden your heart. Even after you yell and scream and cuss. I am still here and I am still God. I still have a purpose and and plan. I STILL LOVE YOU!"

So here I am. I've picked myself up, dusted myself off and I'm moving bricks off my track. I am lining myself up with God's will again. I am focusing my eyes on the vision and the path in front of me. I am remembering the truth of who God is. I am realizing that He is who He says He is and He does just what He says He's going to do. I am getting myself out of the way and getting back on the job.

Chug chug chug "I know God can. I know God can. I know God can" Chug chug chug.

In love,
Mona

I'm Expecting!

Picture it...Christmas Eve and I'm 8 years old. Grandma's kitchen is full - full of women cooking, stirring, tasting and basting. Laughter rings all throughout the house. It's warm in the house, not from the thermostat, but because the oven is on and all the burners are going. It's also warm from the love of family and togetherness. And oh the smells...turkey, greens, sweet potato pie, pineapple upside down cake. Oh my!

I am standing in the living room in front of a large Christmas tree. The lights dance around the branches, softly glowing behind the angel hair and tinsel. The 5-point star blinks 'hello' on top. And underneath...spread all around are boxes of all shapes and sizes neatly wrapped with colorful paper and sticky bows. Each one of those boxes holds a secret that can't be told until morning. It is the Barbie doll head I wanted? Could this one be the GI Joe with the kung-fu grip for my brother? Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robot? Baby Alive? Easy Bake Oven? I expect that this is going to be the best Christmas ever. How am I ever going to get to sleep? I hope I fall asleep so Santa will come and bring the big presents that don't get put under the tree, like the bike or the doll house!

If I'm honest, I am still like that little girl today. But now, I have expectations and hopes that extend far beyond what I am going to get for Christmas. We all do.

We hope that we don't lose our jobs so we can pay bills.

We hope our daughter doesn't lose another baby.

We hope our son will get off, and stay off, drugs.

We hope we can pay that mortgage or rent one more month.

I realize that throughout my whole life I have expected a lot from folks. I expected my parents to love me no matter what I did. I expected my brother to fight with me and protect me at the same time. I expected my husband to provide for me and to love me til death did us part. I expected my children to respect me and listen to me and know I was always right. I expected my bosses to support me and to believe that the place would fall apart without me. I expected everyone to accept me for who I was, no questions asked.

Those poor folks. How could they ever live up to my ever-growing expectations? Did they even know that I had these burdens on them? Nope. But God help them if they failed me. And you know what? At some point or another they all did. Not necessarily intentionally but somehow, in some way they did. Because I expected from them that which is impossible.

I have learned, quite the hard way, that there is only one in whom I can expect anything, and receive everything.

"I say to myself 'the Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him.' The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him." Lamentations 3:24-25

See, I found that God is the only one who can actually meet my expectations. He cannot fail me. BUT, I can only have one expectation: THAT GOD'S WILL BE DONE. And if that is my hope, then I have to surrender my life and the lives of my loved ones to God's will. Sounds easy doesn't it? Well it ain't! It's a daily prayer...sometimes an hourly prayer. It's often been a minute-by-minute prayer. Lord, let your will be done.

Let your will be done.

Strengthen me to deal with whatever your will is.

Give me peace in my heart for whatever your will is.

Help me find joy in it.

Teach me about myself in it.

Increase my prayer life in it.

Let me be an example in it.

Get all the glory and honor in it.

All of those people in my life...they just got off lucky. Because now I only expect them to be who they are and to only do what they can. Because at the end of the day, I am praying God's will in our lives. And I know that He won't fail.

He said "...as I was with Moses, so I will be with thee; I will not fail thee nor forsake thee."Joshua 1:5. "For I am the Lord, I change not." Malachi 3:6

So every day I am expecting, like a kid on Christmas Eve, waiting for the Glory of the Lord to be revealed. What a gift!

In love,

Mona

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

I'm starting with the man in the mirror. I'm asking him to change his ways. And no message could have been any clearer. If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself, and then make a change.

~ Man In The Mirror, Michael Jackson

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Mirror (noun): a reflecting surface usually made of glass with a silvery back, used for viewing oneself.

Mirror (verb): to be or give a faithful representation, image or idea of.

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There are 3 types of mirrors in my bathroom. The first is a tabletop mirror that has two sides. One side shows my face in its actual size. The other side is magnified to about 2x the normal size. The third is a HUGE 6'x6' wall mirror. I hate that one. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

The first mirror is good for putting on lipstick or using it with the big mirror to check out the back of my hair. The magnified mirror is pretty bad. It shows every blemish, freckle and pore and my gray hair always looks much grayer on that side. I only use it when I put on mascara.

But that wall mirror....oh God. It shows everything. I'm shaking my head right now just thinking about that mirror. Every pound, every droop, every wrinkle, every thigh and all my behind. I HATE THAT MIRROR! I can't hide anything from myself in that mirror. It shows me just who I am.

I have often complained to God about other people's behavior. I have ranted and raved about this person's bad attitude, her smart mouth, his anger and resentment. I wondered why this one treated me so poorly and why that one talked about me. I wanted God to do something about them. Make them stop! And then one day God held a mirror to my face and showed me me. It wasn't a small hand-held mirror either. It was a 12'x12' double-wide-triple-long-super-deep-space-reflecting mirror. I couldn't hide a thing.

He says to me, "what about you? Are you loving the person with the bad attitude? Are you speaking life to the one with the smart mouth? Are you walking in forgiveness towards the one full of anger and resentment? Are you praying for the one who treats you poorly? Are you acting godly to the one who talks about you? Perhaps, it needs to begin with you..."

O.U.C.H.

And I was speechless. A rare occurence, for those of you who know me. "I, I, I, but, but, but..."

But nothing. It all begins with me. How can I expect to be forgiven unless I first forgive? How can I forget my own past, while I'm all the time reminding other's of theirs? How can I beg to be loved if I am so full of hate? How can I profess God's greatness on Sunday while acting like a devil Monday through Saturday?

"As water reflects a face, so a man's heart reflects the man" Proverbs 27:19

What would you see if you looked in the mirror? If you looked yourself deeply in eyes, what images would reflect back at you? What's in your heart?

It's a bold and scary thing to do, but ask God to show you to yourself. He will teach you so much about you. Some of it will be suprising, especially the good stuff that He'll show you.

Show me, me!

In love,

Mona

The Wisdom of a 5-year-old

When I was little girl I remember that I could *sometimes* be mean to other kids. I have a distinct memory of us making fun of each other all the time. We used to tease kids who were poor (not realizing then, of course, that we were ALL poor!). We talked about the ones who's houses smelled funny. And we were merciless against the one who ate candy off of the ground! Oh that poor kid!

We used to say things about each other back and forth. Sort of like this...

Kid 1: You're fat!
Kid 2: Nuh uh!
Kid 1: Yes you are. And your house stinks.
Kid 2: You eat of the ground!
Kid 1: Only once. You're ugly!
Kid 2: I'm rubber, you're glue. Anything you say bounces off of me and sticks to you!

And that pretty much ended the whole exchange right then and there. What else could be said after that? Nothing...

Well I think sometimes we adults need to adopt that attitude with our SEW voices. We need to start saying "I'm rubber, you're glue!".

When SEW says you won't make it, you say "I'm rubber, you're glue!"
When SEW says she won't get off drugs, you say "I'm rubber, you're glue!"When SEW says he won't be healed, you say "I'm rubber, you're glue!"
When SEW says you aren't loved, you say "I'm rubber, you're glue!"
When SEW says God won't forgive you, you say "I'm rubber, you're glue!"

Whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you!
It bounces off because at the very core of us we are filled with God's love. We are filled with the Holy Spirit. We are filled with trust in the Lord that all things work together for good. We are filled with God's comfort that assures us that His Grace is sufficient. We are filled with the Truth of who God is and who He says we are in Him.

That love - that spirit - that trust - that comfort - that truth - all grow together and expand all throughout ourselves, from the inside out. We are then armored on the outside and the arrows of the enemy simply bounce off.

It's the power of the God IN you that keeps the voices OUT.

So when the voices speak lies to you just say "Nuh uh! I'm rubber, you're glue. Anything you say bounces off of me and sticks to you!"

You'll be surprised at how powerful the simple words of a 5-year-old can be.

"But as for me, I am filled with power, with the Spirit of the LORD, and with justice and might, to declare to Jacob his transgression, to Israel his sin." Micah 3:8

Silly I know, but still in love,
Mona

Why Oh Why

I know the most adorable 3-year-old in this entire world! Not only is she beautiful, she is also very smart and funny and talks better than a lot of adults I know. Now for the sake of full disclosure she is my God-daughter but that doesn't make her any less brilliant, does it!?

Now, like most 2-3 year olds, she is very inquisitive. What a great word... "inquisitive". That's the adult way of saying she asks way too many doggone questions! She's curious about the world and how it works. Why is this? Why is that? What are you doing? Where are you going? How come this? How come that? Know what? Guess what? Whew!! It can be exhausting. But how else is she going to learn if she doesn't ask, right?

Well that inquisitiveness never leaves us, even after we grow up. The questions become more thoughtful and and thought-provoking. The questions get tougher and harder and the answers are much more elusive. But do we ever stop asking "Why oh why?"

Why was she molested? Why did he go unpunished?

Why do these young children keep dying on the streets?

Why are they fighting for their very lives because of cancer? Kidney disease? Congestive heart failure? Multiple sclerosis? Diabetes?

Why are my children struggling with drug abuse? Mental disorders? Isolation? Depression? Suicide?

Why do I feel so alone?

Why oh why, God? Are you listening? We are your very inquisitive children and we are asking why?

There is no simple answer to these questions. If only it worked that way. Remember what God said, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts,neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD." Isaiah 55:8

The bible is full of examples of suffering, trials, tribulations and circumstances. We are not the first and won't be the last. Small comfort when you are going through, right?

The Apostle Paul was the poster child for suffering, having endured much in the spreading of the Gospel and he spoke well of suffering but mostly about enduring.

"We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us" 2 Corinthians 1:8-11

Paul also spoke about the thorn in his side. He said "Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:8-10

Now I must admit I sometimes have a tough time "delighting" in my persecutions and difficulties. But when I stop and look back from where God brought me from I can see that He has been working on me the whole time. Once I let go and told God to have His way, I realized that I wouldn't be praying so much if it hadn't been for "this" situation. I wouldn't be writing this blog if "that" hadn't happened.

Ask yourself, how has God changed you since you've been going through? Who have you encouraged by your actions? Who has seen you struggle and found strength in how you carry yourself? Are you praying more? Praising more? Seeking His face more? Do your kids see you on your knees? Does someone feel like they can go one more day because they have seen you do it? Are you praying for others, even while seeking answers on your own behalf?

We may not know yet what God has in store. We may not have the answers we want today, but we have faith "and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

Yes this life can be tough, but it's what we do that makes the difference. It's our attitude, our faith, our trust, our submission, our resiliance but most importantly, it's our God.

And remember..."We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." 2 Corinthians 4:8-10

In love,
Mona

Don't Go Changin'

I was thinking about how often people think that giving their life to Christ means that they have to somehow become entirely different people. Some think that God wants them to completely "flip the script" on their personalities in order to come to Him. I know I used to think that. But luckily a very very smart mommy once told me that God made me who I am for a reason. Everything about me (the good, the bad and the ugly) God could and would use for His purpose and according to His will.

I was relieved that this big mouth for designed for God's purpose. He made me loud in order to reach someone who might be having trouble hearing the Truth.

I realized that my crazy sense of humor was all a part of God's plan. I would one day be around teenagers who would not respond to the same old boring stuff.

I got happy that this creative mind wasn't all for nothing. One day God would pour His words into it and ask me to add a little of my own flavor to it. Someone would need to read an encouraging and honest word.

God is saying "Don't go changing, to try and please me." Yes, I'm going to be quoting some Billy Joel here along with some scripture!
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Don't go changing, to try and please me
You never let me down before
Don't imagine you're too familiar
And I don't see you anymore

See God doesn't want to change your personality. Your personality is what makes you YOU and God made you. "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:14

God sees who you are and loves you. You can't hide from Him. "Can anyone hide in secret places so that I cannot see him?" declares the Lord." Jeremiah 23:24
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Don't go trying some new fashion
Don't change the color of your hair
You always have my unspoken passion
Although I might not seem to care

You don't have to be perfect to come to God. He wants you to come just as you are, warts and all. "The Spirit and the bride say, 'Come!' And let him who hears say, 'Come!' Whoever is thirsty, let him come; and whoever wishes, let him take the free gift of the water of life." Revelations 22:17. All you have to do is come and partake.
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I don't want clever conversation
I never want to work that hard
I just want someone that I can talk to
I want you just the way you are

God doesn't want to change you...he wants a relationship with you. He wants you to talk to Him so that He can talk back to you. It doesn't have to be loud or fancy or long. It just has to be from your heart. You don't have to be TD Jakes or Eddie Long or Joyce Meyer to get God's attention (although they are awesome...)

"Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. This, then, is how you should pray: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen." Matthew 6:8-13
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I need to know that you will always be
The same old someone that I knew
What will it take 'till you believe in me
The way that I believe in you..
Have you heard this one? A woman named Shirley was from Beverly Hills. One day, she had a heart attack and was taken to Cedars Sinai hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near-death experience. She saw God and asked, "Is this it?" God said, "No, you have another 30 to 40 years to live." Upon her recovery, she decided to stay in the hospital and have collagen shots, cheek implants, a face lift, liposuction and breast augmentation. She even had someone dye her hair. She figured since she had another 30 to 40 years, she might as well make the most of it. She walked out of Cedars Sinai lobby after the last operation and was killed by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital. She arrived in front of God and said, "I thought you said I had another 30 to 40 years?" God replied, "Shirley!?! I didn't recognize you!"

Now understand that some changes have to happen. God wants you to stop sinning. He wants to create in you a new heart and mind that is focused on Him and the Kingdom and not so much on self and flesh. But those are changes that HE makes. "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh." Ezekiel 36:26
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I said I love you, and that's forever
And this I promise from the heart
I could not love you any better
I love you just the way you are.

Yeah...there's nothing to add to that.

In love,
Mona

High Dives and Free Falls

When I was a little girl living in Van Nuys, CA there was a community pool that my brother and I used to go to all the time. It was full of noisy kids swimming and splashing around and it was so fun. At the deep end of the pool there were two diving boards, one low and one high. I was a decent swimmer so I had no problem swimming in the deep end but the diving boards were very intimidating.

The low board was 10 feet above the water and the high board was 20 feet above it. I had no problem jumping off the low board; holding my nose and just bouncing off into the water. That was easy as pie and you could tell because the line for the low board was always long, full of sopping wet kids of all shapes and sizes waiting for their next turn.

But the high dive...that's a whole 'nother story. It was only 10 feet higher than the other board, but it may as well have been 100 feet. It was terrifying! That line was considerably shorter than the low dive line, so clearly I wasn't the only one who thought so. But I would watch all these kids climb those stairs, walk out onto the plank and fearless jump off and I would be amazed. What the heck was wrong with them?? Didn't they know that the pool had a bottom?? Good Lord!

Well needless to say, one day my big brother somehow convinced me to go up. I'm sure he threatened to beat me up if I didn't go but that's another blog entry. I decided to face my fears and do it. I climbed up what seemed to be 1,000 steps trying to remember to keep breathing as I went. I finally reached the top and stepped out onto the plank of death. I was 'dead girl walking'. It was like a dream. I stood at the edge and remember praying the 23rd Psalm (I always do that when I'm afraid...even now). I held my nose and stepped to my death. The next thing I remember was hitting the water and fighting to get back to the surface and fighting to get my bathing suit back in all the right places. Miraculously I survived!

We have all been struggling with something. You know what your struggle is and so does God. We've had some successes and some failures along this journey. Each success felt like winning Olympic Gold and each failure made us question everything we've ever known about ourselves and God. We've prayed more, praised more and turned over more. God is pleased. It's not enough. God wants one more thing.

He says it's time to walk to the edge of the abyss and jump. Time to give it all up and jump down into the darkness that you cannot see. Because it is only when you jump that your hands will be free. You won't be able to hold onto anything anymore. You won't be able to try and control things anymore. You can't overthink things when you're in a free fall. You can't play detective while you're falling. You can't worry about anyone else's mess when you are surrounded by the dark air.

You will only be able to trust Him.

In your fall is when God will be able to be in total control. He'll be able to accomplish all that He's been working on but we've been in the way. There is freedom in the fall. There is peace in the darkness and you'll hear His voice of comfort in your ears.

I know it's scary but it's time to take a real leap of faith right off the high diving board into what we think is darkness.

"The LORD upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down" Psalm 145:14

You'll discover that you jumped right into His hands.

In love,

Mona

The Dog Days of Summer

Ah summer! When I was a kid, summer was about sleeping in, playing Kickball, Freeze Tag, Mother May I, Hide and Go Seek and Ring Around the Rosie. Summer was great because it was almost 9:00 before the street lights came on. Summer was frozen kool-aid cups and the ice cream man, flip flops and getting wet with the hose. Those were certainly the days.

Summer as an adult just doesn't have that same freedom, does it? We still have to work and pay bills and deal with folks. There's no vacation from life. Well this summer is over and boy am I glad about it. For me, this was definitely the "summer of my discontent!"

"For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer" Psalm 32:4

I don't know about you, but I've been going through it this summer. I mean going through like nobody's business. There were bad days and then there were awful days. There were times when I couldn't see a reason to get out of the bed and times when I honestly didn't think I was going to be able to make it. But you know what? I am.

Through all of it, through the tears and fears, I AM MAKING IT! I stay on my knees, argue with God, plead with Him for relief and sometimes give Him the cold shoulder. But I stay on those knees, praising and worshipping. I sought Him everywhere and found Him where I least expected....holding me.

He's teaching me about me, showing me who I am in Him and reminding me of His promise for me. He speaks and I listen. He tells me stand and I stand. He tells me to stop focusing on others and I keep my eyes on Him. He tells me it isn't going to be easy and I know His grace is sufficient. He tells me that He loves me and I accept. He never stops blessing. He started this blog and gives me "words to speak" to quote singer Aaron Shust. And thank God, He's not through with me yet.

So it's officially Autumn. Now what?

"Then I will send rain on your land in its season, both autumn and spring rains, so that you may gather in your grain, new wine and oil." Deuteronomy 11:14

Now is the season for a refreshing rain from the Lord. A time of reaping the harvest of His promises. New wine, new oil, new joy, new peace, new beginnings, new mercies.

"Passing through the Valley of Baca (Weeping), they make it a place of springs; the early rain also fills the pools with blessings" Psalm 84:6

It was a tough season. I didn't just pass through the valley of weeping, I set up house and stayed a while. But those tears create a spring of blessings. God captures my tears in a bottle and will pour them out as a fresh anointing over my life.

"Be glad, O people of Zion, rejoice in the LORD your God, for he has given you the autumn rains in righteousness. He sends you abundant showers, both autumn and spring rains, as before." Joel 2:34.

It's fall. So let it fall.

Let anger fall
Let strongholds fall
Let walls fall
Let resentment fall
Let anxiety fall
Let fear fall
Let distrust fall

Ring around the rosy.
A pocket full of posies.
Ashes, ashes
LET IT ALL FALL DOWN!

In love,
Mona

Calendar Girl

Today is my birthday! I am officially Forty-one-derful! I LOVE my birthday! I hear people talk about not wanting to celebrate their birthdays, or saying how they don’t think about birthdays. To that I say PSHAW!! Forget that…today is the best day of the year and I am blessed to be alive! Plus I just love all of the attention!

But more than cake (and I loves me some cake!), cards, emails and texts, today is about a new beginning. Another year is gone and the hope of tomorrow is looming just on the horizon. I get to start fresh again. I get to start a whole new calendar today. My calendar isn’t January to December it's September to September.

And today I open a brand new calendar of time. All of the pages are crisp, clean and smells of new ink. There are no markings of things to do and places to go. Every day ahead is a new opportunity. But more importantly, the past is in the trash.

To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven (Ecclesiastes 3)
A time to be born (again in Christ), and a time to die (to self)
A time to plant (seeds of love), and a time to pluck what is planted (the harvest of God’s promises)
A time to kill (the flesh), and a time to heal (your wounds)A time to break down (walls), and a time to build up (those who are broken)
A time to weep (for lost souls), and a time to laugh (for the joy of the Lord)
A time to mourn (for those who don’t know Christ), and a time to dance (before the Lord)
A time to cast away stones (clear the fields of your mind), and a time to gather stones (build upon the foundation God has set)
A time to embrace (who God says you are), and a time to refrain from embracing (who the world says you are)A time to gain (trust and confidence in God), and a time to lose (a negative attitude)
A time to keep (your head up), and a time to throw away (trash from the past)
A time to tear (down the enemy's strongholds), and a time to sew (and mend fences)
A time to keep silence (and hear the voice of the Lord), and a time to speak (about the saving grace of Jesus Christ)
A time to love (yourself), and a time to hate (sin)
A time of war (against the enemy), and a time of peace (that surpasses all understanding)

It may not be your birthday today, but it may be time to throw away the past and start a fresh new calendar today.

In love,
Mona

The Muppet Show

Like most of us, as a child I was a big fan of The Muppet Show, Sesame Street and Fraggle Rock. I hate to admit it but I think I identify most with Miss Piggy. She was feminine, confident and didn't take any mess - destined for stardom just like me! Well, minus the pig part! But I digress...

Muppets are puppet characters created by Jim Henson, one of the most famous puppeteers to ever live. A puppeteer is a person who manipulates an inanimate object in such a manner that the audience believes the object is alive. In some instances the personality of the puppeteer is also an important feature.

Do you ever feel like a puppet? Feel like you had strings tied to your arms and legs and that someone, or something, is manipulating you? Not physically, but mentally. The enemy is a puppeteer, no...he's a puppet master. Using your fears, doubts, anxieties and your past to get you act and think in a certain way. He pulls on the strings of your mind and pulls on your heart strings in ways that can get you off your game.

Remember SEW (the voices of self, the enemy and the world)? Those are three strings attached to your heart and mind. Every time those voices speak, your mind and heart are jerked this way. Every time you hear a voice and think, "well what if...." or "maybe that is true" then your mind and heart are turned upside down. The longer you listen and give heed to the voices, the more tied up you become. Eventually you'll feel like you'll never get undone.

He's crafty:
"Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour" I Peter 5:8

He's false:
"He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies" John 8:44

Unfortunately he knows us, sometimes better than we know ourselves. He knows our past and he knows our hurts. He knows just what buttons to push and what strings to pull. But when the voices start blathering in your ear, start asking yourself, "is this what God has said to me? Does this line up with the promises of God?"

God knew that we would be faced with these things. Remember that 'we are not ignorant of the enemy's devices' (2 Corinthians 2:11). Jesus said, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world". John 16:33

The voices are playing back your worst fears, anxieties, twisted feelings and doubts. Our feelings, anxieties and worries CANNOT BE TRUSTED. The voices CANNOT BE TRUSTED. They are of the flesh. "...we who worship by the Spirit of God, who glory in Christ Jesus, and who put no confidence in the flesh" Phillippians 3:3.

Take no confidence in the enemy's attempts to control you and make you lose sight of God's promises. Take no confidence in memories of sins that God has already forgiven you for. Take no confidence in over-analyzing every word, action and deed of those you love. This is all the flesh. And remember what God said.

"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood , but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

If you want to cut the puppet master's strings in your life you have to "Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand." Stand firm on God's promises. If God said it, then it is done. "God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?" Numbers 23:19

"Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist," Stand firm on the truth of who God is and who He says you are.

"with the breastplate of righteousness in place," Protect your fragile heart by behaving righteously.

"and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace." Know the Word. Rehearse out loud and encourage yourself at all times.

"In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one." Stand on God's faith that He will do just what He said He will do.

"Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God." We worship in Spirit. Use that sword to cut the strings of the puppeteer!

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints." PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY and then PRAY some more! You can combat the voices and the lies with fervent prayer.

Prayer and Thanksgiving will untangle the strings of the enemy. Listen to the One True Voice!

In love,
Miss Piggy

If I Only Had A Heart

Wizard of Oz: As for you, my galvanized friend, you want a heart. You don't know how lucky you are not to have one. Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable.
Tin Woodsman: But I still want one.
~The Wizard of Oz
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The heart is a wonderful piece of machinery. It had better be since you can't live without this vital organ! It's a strong muscle that pumps your blood all throughout your body. It's the hardest working muscle we have.

But the heart also symbolizes the spiritual, emotional, moral and, often, the intellectual center of yourself. And don't forget love and affection! It's a residence too - remember you invited Jesus to live there!

So it makes sense that the word heart is mentioned around 900 times in the different versions of the bible. Obviously your "ticker" is important both physically and spiritually.

But today I want to zero in on something God's been saying to me a lot lately..."Take heart".
Take heart? What in the world does that mean? What is He talking about? Well the term "take heart" has a couple of meanings:
1) to receive courage or comfort from some fact
2) to start to feel more hopeful and more confident
3) to feel encouraged.

But when I am going through the rough and tumble times, I don't feel like my heart can be trusted. "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" Jeremiah 17:9

But God's telling me "Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord" Psalm 31:24

But doesn't the Bible say "For from within, out of men's hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly." Mark 7:21-22

Yes, yes...but Jesus said "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33

God keeps encouraging me to "take heart" because it's all a part of the plan.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

"Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord" Psalm 27:14

Take heart? Really, God? My heart is raggedy, weak, sad and often broken.

Then I realized something...

He wants me to take HIS HEART!

"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. "I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will keep My judgments and do them." Ezekiel 36:26-27

With God's heart, you can be encouraged that He is working it all out according His purpose. With it you can stand...stand on His Word and on His Promises.

And most of all remember what He said..."Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart" Jeremiah 1:5

YOU ARE SPECIAL AND SET APART - SO GO AHEAD AND TAKE HEART!

In love,
Mona

Steady.....steady

35 years (and well over 100 pounds ago) I used to take dance and gymnastics classes. I wore little pink or black leotards with white tights and pink ballet slippers. I was adorable and I was pretty good. As a gymnast I really had a bright future ahead of me but alas it wasn't to be.

I loved gymnastic class though. I could do handstands, headstands, cartwheels, round-offs, roll-overs, flips and back bends. I was even getting pretty good on the uneven bars but the one piece of equipment that just had me scared out of my wits was the balance beam. The balance beam is a piece of wood 16' long and 4" wide and sits about 4' off of the ground. It was a very intimidating slab of wood. I mean honestly, I could fall off and break my neck!
But they didn't just throw me right up there on that 4' monster. They started us off with a low beam that sat just a few inches off the ground. Can I be honest and tell you that it was still very intimidating, even though it was down on the floor! It was soooo narrow. But the coach used to hold our feet and teach us how to walk....one foot in front of the other...slow and steady at first just to get us used to it.

"Righteousness goes before him and prepares the way for his steps" Psalm 85:13

But my biggest problem with the beam was that it was only 4" wide. That's about the width of the average foot. That means I couldn't stand planted with my feet side by side. It had to be one foot in front of the other. I was wobbly and unsteady at first. But then I learned that I had to use my whole body to keep my balance. My arms and my head where just as important as my feet. I had to keep my arms outstretched in order to keep my balance. I had to keep my head aligned with my body. Where my head went, my feet would follow. I had to keep my eyes focused ahead of me - I could not look at my feet or I would surely fall.

Did you know that God has a purpose and a plan for our lives? So if there's a plan then He has already thought through what we need and how we need it. He isn't going to just throw us up on the 4' tall beam without some help and some training. He seeks to hold your feet while you practice walking along His path.

"If the LORD delights in a man's way, He makes his steps firm" Psalm 37:23

He also gives us an instruction manual, the Holy Bible, full of examples of others who have walked along that path before us. We have a Master Gymnast in Jesus Christ, who went to the Spiritual Olympics and won Gold! He can teach us how to walk, and then jump and maybe even do flips on this beam. He provided a great coach in the Holy Spirit, to teach us to hold our heads high and straight. To remind us to keep looking ahead and not back to the past or down at our feet. To cheer us along when we make progress and to console and encourage us when we fall, which we will. To tell us to get up, dust off and get back on the path.

See even though the beam is only 4" wide, with the right instructions, guide and coach you can learn how to maneuver across it - at times wobbly and nervous, and other times with fluid grace - BUT NEVER ALONE.

Walk in love, walk as children of light, walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

In love,
Mona

1-give, 2-give, 3-give...

Despite how sane you are, there exists these voices in your head. There is the voice of self, the voice of the enemy and the voice of the world. We'll call these the SEW voices. But there is also the voice of God, the voice we long to hear and the only one we should be listening to. But the SEW voices are sooooooo loud - almost deafening. But more on that later. First a quick play!

Me: God?
God: Hey there!
Me: Remember 6 years ago when I really messed up?
God: Uh, no.
Me: You know..."The Thing". Don't you remember?
God: Nope
Me: Well I do?
God: Let's see... I do recall you asking me to forgive you, so I did. Then, as promised, I promptly forgot all about it. Now it's time for you to do the same.
And...scene! *bowing*
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You know God is so amazing that He forgives us as soon as we ask and then He does something so amazing. He forgets!

I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more Isaiah 43:25

But guess who doesn't forget? Remember the SEW voices? They don't forget and seek to remind you of your sin all the time. Here's Act II...

SEW: Psssst!
Me: What!
SEW: We know what you did!
Me: What did I do?
SEW: You remember...."the thing"! You're bad.
Me: Okay...and?
SEW: What you're going through right now, we bet it's because of "the thing" from the past.
Me: But God forgave me.
SEW: Hah! But you never forgave yourself. That's why we're still here!
Me: *sigh*

And...scene *bowing*
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Self-forgiveness is really tough. Not just tough...darn hard! We are so quick to be reminded of the mistakes we've made in the past. It's too easy to condemn ourselves for errors and not walk in the joy of God's forgiveness.

He will again have compassion on us, and will subdue our iniquities. You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea. Micah 7:19

We don't think we deserve it. But God is so merciful and loves us so much that He says He WILL NOT remember. YOU DO DESERVE IT!

For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:11-12

Act III

SEW: Psssst!Me:
SEW: Hey?
Me:
SEW: Hello???
Me:
SEW: She's not listening to us.
Me:
SEW: Are we talking to ourselves here?!?
Me: Thanks God!
God: You're welcome, my favorite child!

And...scene! *bowing*
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There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus,who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. Romans 8:1

I know it can be a tough nut to crack, this self-forgiveness thing. Learn to say "SEW WHAT!" God says you are worthy. Believe Him!

In love,
Mona

Breakthroughs

This is the level, this is a harvest
This is the day that You will manifest Your promisesThis is the moment, this is the season for a breakthroughAnother Breakthrough - Israel & New Breed---------------------------------------------------------------------We as Christians talk about breakthrough a lot. We are always looking for a breakthrough. God is going to give us our breakthrough. We are always on the verge of a breakthrough. But do we really know what that means. Are we really aware of the costs of a breakthrough?
There are 3 definitions of 'breakthrough' in the dictionary but funny enough there are over a hundred definitions for 'break' and more than 30 definitions of 'through'. But today I'm going to focus on these two:
Break: to overcome or wear down the spirit, strength, or resistance of; to cause to yield, esp. under pressure, torture, or the likeThrough: from the beginning to the end
So I guess my definition of 'breakthrough' would be the act of overcoming or wearing down the strength of something, causing you to yield to someone, from the beginning to the end. Not bad...
So, in order for God to give us a breakthrough, He's going to have to take us through some changes and, based on what we generally know about the word 'break', I get the feeling these are gonna hurt! Strange, but there are hardly ANY positive or uplifting definitions of 'break'. If I want a breakthrough then I'd better be prepared for something to get broken...all the way through!
What's going to get broken you ask? Well how about control, ego, self-reliance, hatred, anger, lust, insecurity, selfishness, apathy, gossip, lying, mistrust, greed, jealousy, envy... but this is MY list, you'll have to get your own!
How is it going to get broken is really what I wanna know!
I will refine them like silver and test them like gold. They will call on my name and I will answer them; I will say, 'They are my people,' and they will say, 'The LORD is our God. Zechariah 13:9
Oh boy, refining....that's what they do to silver and gold. They take these very precious metals and they stick them in FIRE! Hot burning FIRE! Why? To burn off the impurities that exist there naturally. After refining, the silver or gold is pure. That's pretty deep. If I were to put a piece of wood or plastic or straw into a hot fire it would burn away and all that would be left is ashes and smoke. God sees us as metal, no...precious metal, able to withstand the heat of the fire and come out pure on the other side!
But listen, fire burns, it's hot. You are going to experience things that are going to make you sweat... a lot. Maybe you won't be able to see your way through the smoky haze (check the blog entry I Can't See). You're going to be made uncomfortable, I can almost guarantee it. You're going to cry, fight and whine. It won't be pretty but it'll be WORTH IT!
Some of the wise will stumble, so that they may be refined, purified and made spotless until the time of the end, for it will still come at the appointed time. Daniel 11:35
God wants to bring you to that next level in Him. He wants to get rid of all of the crap that weighs us down, keeping us from fulfilling our destiny and His purpose. We need to learn to yield to His perfect will and not our own.
For you, O God, tested us; you refined us like silver. You brought us into prison and laid burdens on our backs. You let men ride over our heads; we went through fire and water, but you brought us to a place of abundance. Psalm 66:10-12
So let Him 'break' some stuff off of you. Your breakthrough will lead you to a place of abundance. And that's worth all of the ouches in the world!
In love,
Mona