I'm Expecting!

Picture it...Christmas Eve and I'm 8 years old. Grandma's kitchen is full - full of women cooking, stirring, tasting and basting. Laughter rings all throughout the house. It's warm in the house, not from the thermostat, but because the oven is on and all the burners are going. It's also warm from the love of family and togetherness. And oh the smells...turkey, greens, sweet potato pie, pineapple upside down cake. Oh my!

I am standing in the living room in front of a large Christmas tree. The lights dance around the branches, softly glowing behind the angel hair and tinsel. The 5-point star blinks 'hello' on top. And underneath...spread all around are boxes of all shapes and sizes neatly wrapped with colorful paper and sticky bows. Each one of those boxes holds a secret that can't be told until morning. It is the Barbie doll head I wanted? Could this one be the GI Joe with the kung-fu grip for my brother? Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robot? Baby Alive? Easy Bake Oven? I expect that this is going to be the best Christmas ever. How am I ever going to get to sleep? I hope I fall asleep so Santa will come and bring the big presents that don't get put under the tree, like the bike or the doll house!

If I'm honest, I am still like that little girl today. But now, I have expectations and hopes that extend far beyond what I am going to get for Christmas. We all do.

We hope that we don't lose our jobs so we can pay bills.

We hope our daughter doesn't lose another baby.

We hope our son will get off, and stay off, drugs.

We hope we can pay that mortgage or rent one more month.

I realize that throughout my whole life I have expected a lot from folks. I expected my parents to love me no matter what I did. I expected my brother to fight with me and protect me at the same time. I expected my husband to provide for me and to love me til death did us part. I expected my children to respect me and listen to me and know I was always right. I expected my bosses to support me and to believe that the place would fall apart without me. I expected everyone to accept me for who I was, no questions asked.

Those poor folks. How could they ever live up to my ever-growing expectations? Did they even know that I had these burdens on them? Nope. But God help them if they failed me. And you know what? At some point or another they all did. Not necessarily intentionally but somehow, in some way they did. Because I expected from them that which is impossible.

I have learned, quite the hard way, that there is only one in whom I can expect anything, and receive everything.

"I say to myself 'the Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him.' The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him." Lamentations 3:24-25

See, I found that God is the only one who can actually meet my expectations. He cannot fail me. BUT, I can only have one expectation: THAT GOD'S WILL BE DONE. And if that is my hope, then I have to surrender my life and the lives of my loved ones to God's will. Sounds easy doesn't it? Well it ain't! It's a daily prayer...sometimes an hourly prayer. It's often been a minute-by-minute prayer. Lord, let your will be done.

Let your will be done.

Strengthen me to deal with whatever your will is.

Give me peace in my heart for whatever your will is.

Help me find joy in it.

Teach me about myself in it.

Increase my prayer life in it.

Let me be an example in it.

Get all the glory and honor in it.

All of those people in my life...they just got off lucky. Because now I only expect them to be who they are and to only do what they can. Because at the end of the day, I am praying God's will in our lives. And I know that He won't fail.

He said "...as I was with Moses, so I will be with thee; I will not fail thee nor forsake thee."Joshua 1:5. "For I am the Lord, I change not." Malachi 3:6

So every day I am expecting, like a kid on Christmas Eve, waiting for the Glory of the Lord to be revealed. What a gift!

In love,

Mona