What I'm Finna Do Is...

As 2014 comes to a close, I see lots of people reflecting on the year. All of us have suffered disappointment and loss. We've also had some triumphs and successes during the last 364 days. But all in all, I count myself lucky to have made it another year. I am still breathing. That means I have another chance to do better. 

If I'm honest, I've been out of sorts for the last 5 years. I will not allow myself to remain in that state any longer. I am changing my mind about a few things (thanks Syrtraina!). 

I'm not making New Year's Resolutions here. I am stating unequivocally that I am going to change the way I see things, change the way I do things and change the trajectory of my future. 

I will not live out 2015 in fear of my own potential. I will embrace who God has made me to be. I will write, passionately, fervently and with the words that God gives me to speak. 

I will live a life of transparency. I will not shy away from the things that hurt, scare or intimidate me. I am fearfully and wonderfully made and I WILL walk in that truth. And I will share that with others, so they know they are not alone.

I will control my financial future. 

I will travel and explore and appreciate the world around me. I will grow from these experiences and I will drag along anyone who wishes to join me. 

I will celebrate the amazing life that God has blessed me with. I will watch as my adults (who used to be my children) soar. I will celebrate their amazing successes and I will encourage them through their temporary failures. I will forever be their biggest cheerleader and champion. 

I will pray. I will seek the face of Him who made me. And I'll question Him on some things and I will accept His answers as truth.

I will let go of those who hurt me. I will send them off with love and God's blessing but I will not suffer anyone who does not have my best interest at heart. 

I will be the best friend to my best friends. I will cut anyone pray for anyone who comes against them and I will stand in the gap for them as they have always done for me. I will continue to speak truth and life to them as they have for me. Forever. 

I will stop abusing myself with self-hating descriptors like 'fat'. I will love this body and this mind and this soul WHOLEHEARTEDLY. I will accept myself and seek ways to improve as needed. 

I will open my heart to love. I will open my eyes see beauty and I will open my ears to hear truth. 

I will ask God to send me the someone He wants me to have. I will be patient with His timing and I will appreciate this gift when he gets here. (But listen God.... let's not drag this thing out, alright?) 

I shall love the Lord my God with all my heart, with all my soul, and with all my strength.

And I shall love myself as equally as that. 

Thank you for being here on my blog journey. I appreciate you more than words can say. 

In love, 
Mona