Peeking Out From A Hole

I haven't blogged in almost 6 months. Truth be told, my laptop has been dead since March and I haven't even had the desire to turn it on. I've been down a hole for awhile now, and where normally blogging helps me through, I just didn't have any words. 

I've been feeling useless, unappreciated, not respected or valued. I let people get in my head. I've toyed with leaving my church for various reasons. My job too. No reason that would make me feel any better though. It's probably just the hole talking. It's probably just realizing that I am almost fifty and some people still treat me as though I was a child. That my voice isn't heard. That people don't seem to realize that I'm a middle-aged woman with two grown children, who has lived on both coasts. That I have traveled to Europe, Asia, the Caribbean, and more. Some people just don't take me seriously and it started to weigh me down. 

I know. I know. I'm not supposed to focus on them. I'm supposed to remember who God says I am. I'm supposed to realize that HE doesn't see me that way. But that's tough sometimes. Tough when you feel dismissed. Tough when you feel unseen and unheard. You begin to question your own worth. You begin to remember all the ways you messed up. You wonder if those people are justified in how they are. THEY ARE NOT!

Yes I've made mistakes, but I not solely those mistakes. If anything, today I am the culmination of all the good and bad choices that I've made these last fifty years. I am the sum total of my family, my friends, my work, my experiences and my choices and I realize that God has been in the middle of it all. 

He knows who I am, what I've done and what I have yet to do. He knows when I've had a prayer in my heart but was unable to say the words. He knows when I have avoided studying or reading. He knows to the times I went to church out of habit but had a word for me anyway. He knows when I feel unworthy. He knows that I feel like I've run out of chances. Yet and still He loves me. He still has a plan, if I would just get on board and focus on the things that matter, Him.

I will remember that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. That He has a purpose and a for my life. That I am His chosen one and that His mercies are new every day. 

But most importantly, I will remember the Promise and Word He gave me: 

Behold, I will bring it health and healing; I will heal them and reveal to them the abundance of peace and truth. And I will cause the captives of Judah and the captives of Israel to return, and will rebuild those places as at the first. I will cleanse them from all their iniquity by which they have sinned against Me, and I will pardon all their iniquities by which they have sinned and by which they have transgressed against Me. Then it shall be to Me a name of joy, a praise, and an honor before all nations of the earth, who shall hear all the good that I do to them; they shall fear and tremble for all the goodness and all the prosperity that I provide for it.’ Jeremiah 33:6-9

In love, 
Mona

Have You Considered My Servant?

One day the angels came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan also came with them. The Lord said to Satan, “Where have you come from?” Satan answered the Lord, “From roaming throughout the earth, going back and forth on it.” Then the Lord said to Satan, “Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil.” “Does Job fear God for nothing?” Satan replied. “Have you not put a hedge around him and his household and everything he has? You have blessed the work of his hands, so that his flocks and herds are spread throughout the land. But now stretch out your hand and strike everything he has, and he will surely curse you to your face.” The Lord said to Satan, “Very well, then, everything he has is in your power, but on the man himself do not lay a finger.” Then Satan went out from the presence of the Lord. Job 1:6-12

 
This classic passage of the Bible talks about how Satan had been wandering around looking for folks to bother. God, in His Supreme Boldness, offered Job for testing. Satan countered that God had a hedge of protection around him but God offered to remove the hedge and allow Satan to destroy everything but Job's life, resting assured that Job would not curse Him. 

I'm at an interesting point in my life where it isn't Satan who has "destroyed" everything, but actually the result of my own choices. I won't blame Satan, who already gets too much credit for some of the mess in our lives, but it was me. And whether or not God has a hedge of protection around me or not doesn't matter. 

No matter what happens, no matter how many of my chickens come home to roost, no matter how many things, people or opportunities I lose, I REFUSE TO CURSE MY GOD. '

I think God honors our confessions: 
"Lord, I messed up and I am prepared to deal with the outcome." 

"Father, if you can't stay away this bitter cup, please strengthen me to deal with it."

"God, you are my portion and I will wait on you."

I may have fallen 20 steps back, but God was waiting for me at the 20th step, to put me back on course and push me forward into my destiny - despite my mistakes. 

"...if I make my bed in hell, you are there." Psalm 139:8

All I know to do is trust my God. All I can do is believe in Him and His purpose for my life (in spite of myself). All I must do is continue to praise and worship through the storms. I can never give up and I can never give in, no matter what it looks like or feels like. I will live and not die. 

And soon it will be "now the Lord blessed the latter days of Mona more than her beginning..." 

In love, 
Mona

 




 

The Bucket List

Two women I went to high school with have died within the last 6 months. We are all in our 50th year - either have turned or will turn 50 before the end of 2018. It's a perspective-shift for sure. 

I've always said "life is short" and it's never more in my face than when someone my age dies. It causes me to reflect on the value of and the distinct shortness of time. 

I am questioning whether my life has been of any value. What have I accomplished? What is there left for me to do, see and experience? 

I know that I raised two amazing people in my son and daughter, who I am blessed to say are happy, healthy and thriving. They are everything I could wish for but mostly I LIKE them... a lot. They are funny and sarcastic and thoughtful and caring and they are absolutely the best of me. But I can't live on the laurels of raising them any longer. I can cross "Parenting" off my bucket list. 

I never finished college. That's not anyone's fault. But I did opt to focus on trying to be a good military wife and mom. I don't regret anything because the results speak for themselves. I sustained a happy marriage for 21 years and still remains friends with my ex after the divorce. Cross "Wife and Mom" off my bucket list. 

Not sure I've been the best daughter, sister, niece and friend that I could be. But hopefully there's still time to do better. I hope they know that I love them even when I wasn't what they needed me to be.  "Good Daughter, Sister, Niece and Friend" stays on the list. 

Good Christian? STAYS ON THE LIST!

My list also includes other greatest hits like "Figure Out Who I Want To Be When I Grow Up", "Fall In Love", "Travel the World", "Be the Best Improviser I Can be", "Make An Impact", "Mange My Finances Better (which will never get crossed off the list), "Believe God Will", and more. 

But time is running short because tomorrow is not promised. And I'm going to be honest and transparent about the fact that I am freaking out about it. I'm scared that I'm going to die with this long list of unrealized dreams and that none of it mattered in the end. That I will have wasted an entire lifetime and accomplished nothing of note. But then again, lots of people do and what makes me so special?

Maybe it's a mid-life crisis taking hold. Maybe it's me realizing I'm at the top of the hill and the trip is always faster on the way down. I don't want "Regret" to be anywhere on my list. 

My prayer is that we all examine our bucket lists and begin to actively do things to start crossing stuff off. But that we also add more items. Give ourselves more dreams to realize, more lives to impact, more places to go and things to do. 

In love,
Mona

Shatter-Proof Glass

Have you ever dropped a glass in the sink or on the floor and it didn't break? Or maybe you were holding a glass and it *just* bumped against something and it shattered right in your hand? I have been thinking lately about how something like glass can be both strong enough to withstand weather and heat but fragile enough to break if you just tap it. 

It's because every piece of glass has a weak spot. The weakest areas are usually around the edges. Often weak spots are created by dirt or chemical changes or anomalies created during the glass making process. I remember seeing a demonstration at the Corning Museum of Glass where the exhibit encourages you to bang metal against glass to see if it would break. Of course the metal was hitting where the glass was the strongest so it wouldn't break. 

Like glass, most of us are pretty strong. We are made of tough stuff and our relationship with Christ tends to illuminate that because we believe that our strength comes from Him. In Him we are strong. He is our source of strength, and this allows us to deal with all that life throws at us on a day to day basis.  

But like glass we also have weak spots. Small areas of imperfection, that if hit just right, can break us. These areas are where we sit in self-condemnation, where we let the enemy remind of us our past, where we let other people define us, or areas of hurt and pain that never healed. It is these places that we need ask God to work on, to encircle us, heal us and protect us from outside influence. 

“My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness. 

Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. ” 2 Corinthians 12:9. 

"I called on the Lord in distress; The Lord answered me and set me in a broad place. The Lord is on my side. I will not fear. What can man do to me?" Psalm 118:5-6

"Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered." Romans 8:26

Lord, show us our weak places so that we will know the areas in which we are vulnerable. Expose the places where we are hurt and broken and begin the process of healing us. Father, open our eyes to see, our ears to hear and our heart to receive the Holy Spirit in our journey of healing. Send your angels and lift a hedge of protection around our weaknesses that make us susceptible to attack, whether from ourselves, from the enemy or from people. We ask in your Holy name. Amen. 

In love, 

Mona

I Have Dreamed a Dream

In Daniel 2 "And in the second year of the reign of Nebuchadnezzar Nebuchadnezzar dreamed dreams, wherewith his spirit was troubled, and his sleep brake from him. Then the king commanded to call the magicians, and the astrologers, and the sorcerers, and the Chaldeans, for to shew the king his dreams." 

Nebuchadnezzar had a dream that kept him up at night. He was so disturbed by it that he called on the magicians and astrologers for its meaning. They said "tell us the dream and we'll tell you what it means. He told them no, he couldn't remember it. They had to both tell him the dream AND interpret it! And if they couldn't, he would destroy them all.

And important thing to note here is that people dream all the time and we mostly forget our dreams. But this dream mattered, and Nebuchadnezzar knew it mattered, that's why it bothered him so much that he couldn't remember it. 
 
Kind of sounds like me. God gave me a dream and I didn't understand it (or didn't want to). It kept me up at night. I called on God to help me. I also told God "not only must you tell me the dream, but you have to interpret it for me. You have to also show me exactly how to make the dream come true; where must I go and what must I do. Take my hand and walk me step by step through bringing this dream to life! And if you don't, I'm going to leave it sitting right here."

How arrogant of me. First, to tell God what He's gonna do! But secondly, to assume that God wouldn't equip me for the dream in the first place. 

The dreams God gives us matter. We know they matter and that's what terrifies us so much. We don't want to get it wrong, or disappoint God or, worse yet, fail. That's me. I don't want to fail. I don't want to step out on something that God gave me and then totally bungle it up. 

But God is God. He doesn't make mistakes. He wouldn't ask me to do something that He hasn't equipped me for. But that means I must take advantage of the equipment (the Word, Study, Prayer, Worship, my faith, His strength, etc.) that He provides for me. 

And then I just have to do it.  

Trust the dream that God has given you. Trust that He has provided you all you need to accomplish it. Trust in him and then just do it. And watch God work.

In love, 
Mona

Remembering What I Learned

Today at church was the kind of day where I was reminded of who God says I am. I know that I've heard it many times before, but each time I somehow manage to talk myself out of it. I find a way to say that I am not good enough, not holy enough, not worthy enough to be that person. But somehow He taps me on the shoulder and says "REMEMBER". 

During the long journey towards who God is making me to be, I have learned a few things.

I have learned that God does not lie. "God is not a man, that He should lie. Nor a son of man that He should repent. Has he said, and will he not do? Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good?" Numbers 23:19. Everything He has told me is true, whether or not I accept it, walk it out or even believe it. It is still true. 

I have learned that God is sovereign. "Whatever the Lord pleases he does, in Heaven and in Earth, in the seas and in all deep places." Psalms 135:6 God is going to do whatever He wants to do, whether or not I participate. So I might as well get on board. 

I have learned that God has a plan for me. "For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, thoughts of peace and not evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11 Purpose is the reason for which something is created or why it exists. Hope is a feeling of expectation and a desire for something to happen. God says there is a reason I exist and there is a desire for something to happen. Something that I make happen. 

Basically, whatever God has spoken to you and about you is truth. It cannot be erased or denied because He cannot lie. He has every intention of seeing that thing come to pass because it is what He wants to happen. And He has purposed YOU for it. He will give you everything you need to get it done.

For me, I need to move out of my own way and let God do what He is going to do. I have to lean on Him, let His words flow and let the Holy Spirit guide. 

I need to remember and never again forget. 

In love, 
Mona

A Black Brother (Guest Post by Patrice James)

A black brother struggles on the corner
While the other is being pulled away by a coroner.
Looking for a job is what you might say,
Not quite, because he is there everyday.

Looking for a chance to survive
Is what everyone is trying to do.
But what can we say
When we bury a black brother every day?

Why must we kill to get our point across?
Every time we do, there is another loss.
Why must we use a gun to prove that we are bad?
The person that you may kill is all that someone else has ever had.

We must take a little time to come together.
Maybe if we do, we might just live forever.
For there is more than one way,
For a black brother to survive today.

If you have a problem what should you do?
Talk to an adult or someone that can help you.
For turning to drugs, crack and cocaine
Will do nothing but make you insane.

Give respect and you shall receive,
Don't leave your parents with sorrow and grieve.
So don't give up because there is more than one way
For a black brother to survive today.

#MeToo

I’m about to share a story that I haven’t told many people. I don’t know why I still hold on to this secret. Maybe there is still shame and embarrassment involved. I’m not sure. 

My first sexual experience was when I was 15 years old. It was date rape, although we didn’t have a term like date rape at the time. I didn’t realize it was that until many years later.

I had met a boy, a fine looking boy, that I liked and thought liked me too. I don’t know why he would have though. He was gorgeous and I was... well I was me. Awkward, thick, insecure and the list goes on. I don’t remember how we met (there are many things I’ve forgotten) but I do remember him inviting me over to his house after school. It was December 15, 1983 - that I will never forget. 

I took the bus to his house after school. We were alone in his room and we started kissing. One thing led to another and I was on his bed. He said he wanted to “do it”. I said no and he said that I wasn’t going to come over there, tease him and not give him any. He was angry but not violent. He undressed me and had sex with me against my will. I didn't scream and I didn't fight. I was scared - too scared to do anything but lay there and take it. It was all a blur. When it was over I remember getting dressed, him kissing me on the forehead and walking me to the bus stop.  

I never told a soul. I held that secret for more than 25 years. For a variety of reasons, self-shame, fear of being accused of being fast and loose, being slut-shamed before slut-shaming was even a thing, feeling like I brought on myself because I shouldn't have been there, and the list goes on and on. 

I revealed that secret to total strangers on Twitter one day several years ago. I can't remember why. Probably because it was a safe space to tell the story. 

That's all. Just wanted to share my story. And too many of us have a story to tell. 

In love,
Mona

Begin to Believe

One of my favorite movies of all time is The Matrix, the story of Neo, a man on a mission of discovery about himself and the world he inhabits. Neo is told by Morpheus that he is "The One", the person who was born to win a war against the machines and set humans free. Neo is naturally skeptical of this information and is taken to visit the all-knowing Oracle. The Oracle, aware of Neo's disbelief, tells him "you have the gift but it looks like you're waiting for something."

Later in the movie, Morpheus is captured and Neo works to set him free, but he himself is trapped in the Matrix. Confronted by the nemesis agent, Mr. Smith, Neo has two choices; run or face Mr. Smith. He opts to stay and fight. When Morpheus is asked what's he doing, Morpheus says "he's beginning to believe."

---

Hearing versus believing. Do we really need to line up at the altar Sunday after Sunday for the Man or Woman of God to tell us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made?  Do we need to continuously, month after month, hear that God has a purpose and a plan for our lives? That the thoughts He has toward us are good and not evil? That before we were formed in our mother's wombs He knew us and set us apart? Year over year hearing the same thing over and over and over?

At some point, we have to move from hearing to believing. We have to simply know that it's true. We have to walk in this belief because otherwise we will forever "be waiting for something". Waiting for a different Prophet to speak a word over us; waiting for a different person to teach bible study; waiting for the perfect circumstance to arise so that we can finally begin to listen. 

No. The time is now. The truth is the truth and no one needs to tell us anymore. We have to begin to believe that through Christ all things are possible; that God's grace is sufficient; that the joy of the Lord is our strength; that God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, of love and of a sound mind.

---

When Neo confronts Mr. Smith, he puts up a good long fight. But he doesn't win. It is only after Neo dies that he comes into full knowledge of who he is and the power he possesses. We have to die to self and let the Spirit of the Lord take over. It is only then that we can fight the war to set the captives free; only then can we be atmosphere changers and life changers. 

Just like Neo, we were born to be "The One" but there is a process. First we hear. Then we believe. And finally we die to self, reborn to walk in the Spirit, exercise the power of the Spirit; overcome by the Spirit and finally live in victory. 

In love, 
Mona

Fireworks and Forgiveness

Today my Pastor, Viatta Carter, preached a message called "The Pain Produces The Promise" about how who we are is the product of everything that we've gone through in our lives; the good, the bad and the ugly. Ultimately it's about learning how to see our trials and tribulations from a different perspective, and to respond differently than we normally do. We need to see those things as a part of the process of God making us into who He wants us to be. 

I started thinking about the things in my life that have cause me pain, the way I responded - usually negatively - and how God had, in the end, worked it out for my good. 

For many years, the Fourth of July had been a very difficult day for me. It was on that day in 2009, under the backdrop of Independence Day fireworks that my marriage began to end and my life was forever changed. 

I've written extensively about it so I won't rehash it again. When I think about what has surely been one of the most painful things that has ever happened to me, I often only think of the negative things; the breakup of a strong and happy marriage, the cracking of the family foundation, the effects on my finances and worse yet, the damage to my mental health. But I need to start thinking about the ways in which God has used that awful time to make me better. 

The first positive thing was Fanning the Flames of Faith. I only started this blog as a way to deal with it all, first using coded language and stories, and then finally with full transparency. It began as a way to try to keep my sanity through the roller coaster ride that was my life and has now become an attempt to encourage others, and myself, through the Word of God; to remind people of what He says about them. 

My personal relationship with God changed. I learned how to really pray, to seek His face and to trust when I couldn't see a way forward. That "process" was more difficult than what those few words show. It was one of the greatest struggles of my life, to give in completely, because I'm such a control freak. 

I learned to ask for help. I spent many many years pretending that I was okay, until a severe depression took hold. I learned that Christians need to stop shying away from dealing with mental health, and to stop telling people to "pray it away". I couldn't pray. But medication and therapy helped to get me back to a place where I could. I needed faith and medicine. 

But most importantly, I learned to forgive. Forgiveness wasn't for him, it was for me. For my spiritual health and wellness. It was the only way I was going to be able to try and claw my way forward. 

"Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?" Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven." Matthew 18:21-22

How could I not forgive someone I loved in the same way that God has forgiven me? I decided that I wasn't going let this horrible event totally destroy me and make me bitter. I could have, easily, given in to hate and anger, but I want to be better than that. God wants me to be better than that. Did he deserve it? It doesn't matter. Neither did I when God forgave me. 

Forgiving him released me to really look at people differently. To realize that everyone is going through something. Everyone is in some kind of pain. Everyone is deserving of compassion and grace, not just from God, but from me. Just as I am deserving of it from others. Things just don't bother me like they used to. People are people, they make mistakes, they are mean, they talk about folks, they feel superior, they look down on others, but so what? Pray for them and keep it moving. Because I don't know what they are dealing with. I am not aware of their particular type of pain, so because of that, I forgive and continue to love. Just like I hope they do for me. But what if they don't? Again, so what? God's got me. 

That summer of 2009, God gave me scripture to rehearse. "Behold, I will bring it health and healing; I will heal them and reveal to them the abundance of peace and truth. And I will cause the captives of Judah and the captives of Israel to return, and will rebuild those places as at the first. I will cleanse them from all their iniquity by which they have sinned against Me, and I will pardon all their iniquities by which they have sinned and by which they have transgressed against Me." Jeremiah 33:6-8

After 8 years, my ex-husband and I have a strong and bonded relationship. We are family. There is no bitterness between us. We have moved beyond past mistakes and there is nothing we wouldn't do for one another. We are healthy and at peace. 

We've gone from fireworks to forgiveness to friendship. The process was so so difficult, but the divorce was just a small part of the 37 years that we've known each other. The pain ended and God was fulfilling His promise the whole time. Even when I couldn't see it. 

Everything In Its Proper Perspective

My father used to say "everything in its proper perspective". And I have to admit that for many years, I had NO IDEA what this meant. It seemed like, no matter the circumstance, he found a way to use it. 

When I was supposed to clean my room: Everything in its proper perspective.

When I questioned him about something: Everything in its proper perspective. 

When I was concerned about school or my teenage angst: Ramona, everything in its proper perspective. 

What he meant was everything had a right time and place. It was up to me to make sure that my life, my mind and my decisions were in proper perspective, in right shape and at the right moment. 

Perspective is how you see things or a point of view. But it's also being able to tell what is and is not important.

Often times we get to stuck on where we are NOT that we lose perspective on where we are supposed to be going. We are so busy recounting all of things that we think are wrong our lives, that we cannot see what is totally right. We obsess on what is missing and lose sight of everything good around us. 

Some days you have to stop and smell the roses. I mean literally take a look around you and see all the ways that God has blessed you. First and foremost, you're alive and breathing. That deserves a praise break in and of itself. 

*happy feet*

You are healthy. You have a roof over your head. Your lights are on. Your belly is full. You have clothes and shoes in the closet. You might even have $25 in the bank. You have friends and family who love you. You have a job, a car, a significant other. 

You may have less or you may have more. But you have something else that's more important. 

You have a purpose. You have lives that you impact. You have a God-given destiny. You matter. 

I know you might not think you do, but God knows. Because that purpose is His. That compassion you show? That's God. When you forgive the unforgivable? That's God. When you love the unlovable? That's God. When you sing the church house down? That's God. Because you are affecting lives; in ways that you cannot imagine. 

Stop selling yourself short. Stop selling God short. Get, and keep, a proper perspective about yourself. You are God's chosen. 

You. Make. A. Difference. 

So tomorrow morning, stand in the mirror and remind yourself that you are fearfully and wonderfully made and then read Psalm 139 Link---> Psalm 139

That alone will help you keep everything in its proper perspective. 

In love, 
Mona

Guest Post: I Ain't Scared No More

When I was a young girl maybe like 7 or 8 in age I loved to watch scary movies. Jason, It, Pet Cemetery, a long list and I was never afraid. Until the day I watched Nightmare on Elm Street. It terrified me! You remember, it was the one with the the guy (Freddy Kruger) who wore a glove with razors as finger and wore that super ugly sweater, yeah him. He was killing kids and had been arrested and released on a technicality and so a group of outrage parents cornered him and burned him alive in a huge furnace and somehow he becomes the nightmare demon-spirit. He came back to torture the kids of the parents who had killed him. He would kill them in their dreams and it would kill them in real life. 

My poor dad would stay up all night counting sheep with me. Until one night I woke up, screaming and crying the "demon killed one of the sheep." On that night, probably out of frustration and lack of sleep, he asked "why does this one scare you so much and why do you keep sneaking and watching it?" My response at a young age was very prophetic and neither of us would know it until much later on in life, but I said "because daddy there really is a nightmare demon, one who will come and kill you in your dreams and Nancy has almost figured out how to beat him and I need to know how she does it." 

He grabbed me close and laid me on his chest and said "No baby, Freddy isn't real." See Nancy was one of the teens who had watched many of her friends get killed but she had begun to figure out how to defeat Freddy. By studying some ancient cultures she figured out that she could bring things to the real world with her and that if she turned her back on him and feared him not, it would drain his power and he wouldn't be able to hurt her.
 

Fast forward to present day and I still wake up screaming and crying "the demon is killing the sheep!" Yup you heard me right. The Bible tells us in John 10:10 "The enemy comes to steal kill and destroy" (NIV). He comes and kills your dreams and you begin to parish in real life. I see it today as clear as I seen it then and I can no longer sit and watch my friends, family even strangers die. 

My dad is still a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen. Shoot I'm sure if I called him he'd count sheep with me. But this time it is my Heavenly Father who comforts me, because the Bible also tell me in John 16:33 "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." See Nancy had to figure out how to defeat Freddy on her own but we, my brothers and sisters, don't. We know going in that our Father has already defeated our demons, yes all of them. What we can learn from Nancy is to study our Word; that turning our backs on the demons take away their power and to fear not. We have a gift that takes care everything else for us. "Thank You Jesus!"

Isaiah 41:10 reads "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." 

"GLORY"!  See all you have to do when that demon-spirit of doubt, fear, rejection, guilt, condemnation, low self esteem, depression, alcoholism, gambling,  who ever or whatever comes is to remember these things: We were told they would come! Turn your back on it! Fear not! Run with your mind on "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." Philippians 4:8 

You can't see me but I actually took a praise break and gave a little shout because you can snatch that dream right out that demons hand and bring it right back to real life with you because "no weapons formed against you shall prosper" Isaiah 54:17. 

The demon that has come to torture the children of the Parent who has destroyed him has no power over us. Be of good courage and know that you are not alone. God is with you, He is your strength and your peace. Someone is always praying for you even when you don't know it. 


Be Blessed,
Sis Denise Esters

Prayer for the Dying

Today many people woke up to death. It may have been the death of a loved one or the death of a cherished dream. But worse, it might have been the death of hope and faith. 

We are all dying. We began dying the moment we are born. 

There is a poem The Dash by Linda Ellis that illustrates that your tombstone has two dates, the date you were born and the date you died. Grandma Jessie's is 1921-2002. But that life is lived in the 'dash'. What's important is what you do while you live. 

"Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise You. Thus I will bless You while I live; I will lift up my hands in Your name." Psalm 63:3-4

WHILE I LIVE, I am going to remember that God has a purpose and a plan for my life, no matter what it looks like right now. 

WHILE I LIVE, I am going to discover and embrace who God says I am. 

WHILE I LIVE, I am going to speak life to others and to myself. 

WHILE I LIVE, I am going to develop and deepen my personal relationship with God. 

WHILE I LIVE, I will speak what thus sayeth the Lord. 

Life is challenging in so many different ways. God never said it would be easy, in fact He said  "These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 

So for now, today, right this minute... YOU WILL LIVE AND NOT DIE! And while you live, you have work to do. You have people to forgive (yourself included), you have prayers to make and worship to give. You only have right now to do it. Because right now, you are in the dash. 

"Praise the Lord, O my soul! While I live I will praise the Lord; I will sing praises to my God while I have my being." Psalm 14:1-2

In love,
Mona

    

Double Exposure

Most of us are old enough to remember 35mm cameras and film. Long before cell phones cameras came along, we bought small canisters of film, inserted them into our cameras, took the exposed end and threaded it through the back of the camera. We then took all of the pictures on the roll of film and dropped it off to a place like Walgreens to be developed. Three days later, we went back and picked up a yellow envelop with a sticky flap and inside were the beautiful pictures of family and friends that we'd captured. 

But what happened to the roll of film after we dropped it off? A technician somewhere opened the canister and took the film through a long and painful process. The film, which is light sensitive and prone to easy destruction if exposed, is carefully removed from the small canister and rinsed in water. It is then subject to numerous rinses in various harsh chemicals to remove its light sensitivity and help the images to develop. This process creates a 'negative' which, when you see it, is not quite the picture you took. Light is dark and dark is light. This 'negative' is then fed into a machine which, clearly using magic and technology, turns the negative image into a positive one. Then the images are printed and voila! A lovely color photo. 

So much of our 'stuff' - our fears, anxieties, issues, problems, etc - are like that light sensitive film just coming out of the canister. We have to expose it, wash it and process it. We are at a very fragile state. We have to go through the harsh process of reliving that which threatens to eat us alive. We have to remember the abuse, remember the pain, remember the rejection. We have to LOOK at it squarely in the face and remind ourselves that it did not kill us. 

And even after we've done that, often what results is negative. We have exposed self-doubt, hatred, denial and unforgiveness. But that's not the final picture. That's not the end result. If we CONTINUE with the process - if we move forward and make the choice to not let this hold us back, what results is positive. We must lay it down. We have to tell the story. We have to open our mouths and speak the truth of the tragedies that have befallen us. We have to shine a light on our demons and say "this is my stuff, here it is and I AM STILL HERE!" Then the grip of those demons are loosened. 

Your restoration is close at hand. But there is a process. If you want healing and deliverance you're going to have to do the hard work of exposing, washing clean, and letting it develop into something beautiful - your deliverance.

Behold, I will bring it health and healing; I will heal them and reveal to them the abundance of peace and truth. And I will cause the captives of Judah and the captives of Israel to return, and will rebuild those places as at the first. Jeremiah 33:6-7

Thus says the Lord: ‘Again there shall be heard in this place—of which you say, “It is desolate, without man and without beast”—in the cities of Judah, in the streets of Jerusalem that are desolate, without man and without inhabitant and without beast, 11 the voice of joy and the voice of gladness, the voice of the bridegroom and the voice of the bride, the voice of those who will say “Praise the Lord of hosts, for the Lord is good, for His mercy endures forever” Jeremiah 33:10-11 

God promises to heal you, return you to your rightful place and give you peace. And in return, all He asks for is your praise. 

In love,
Mona