Worry Wart

I am a worrier. I worry about everything, big and small. I am always planning for the worst case scenario in every situation I find myself in. It's just who I am. It's how I was made. 

Worrying and this Christian walk don't mesh though. 

I've had folks tell me that by worrying, I am saying I don't have faith in God. Of course I have faith. I know that ultimately God is going to work it out. That doesn't stop me from worrying about how He's going to do it and when He's going to do it and who is He going to use to do it. So I guess I have worrisome faith. Just being honest.

Of the pretty severe life trials that I am going through right now I have been taking my worry to a whole 'nother level. I've at Peak Level Worry. DefCon 1 Level Worry. 

I think I'm hiding my worry, but my nearest and dearest know that I worry. They see it hidden behind that "Everything Is Okay" Smile that I have perfected. 

Know who else has seen my worry? God. He actually called me out about it on Sunday through my pastor. 

SN: Funny how God works like that with me. Just when I think He isn't paying any attention He goes and shows out in front of the whole church!!

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?  So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:25-34

And my pastor specifically talked to me about my worrying later in the service. Creepy right?

The following day I was in such a state. So many things going wrong both at home and at work and I had to remind myself about this scripture. I read it online and put a printed copy on my desk to read every single day. As a reminder.

A reminder that no matter how crazy and upside down and topsy turvy my life is, I still know that God has a purpose and a plan for my life. I know that NOTHING and NO ONE can stop what God has put in motion for me.  So what's to worry about? 

Even if I lost everything, I understand, like Job, that God is in the mix. If a door closes, a window will open.  And if He does nothing else for me from this day forward, He has already done plenty. He saved me. 

So I'm not going to worry.

Much. 

In love,
Mona