Out In The Desert

Having lived on and traveled through the West Coast, I have experienced my fair share of desert. I've driven through the Mojave Desert, Death Valley and experienced the vast desert that lies between San Diego and Arizona. I've also been to Las Vegas, a city that sits literally right in the middle of a desert. The one thing they all have in common is that they are hot and dry.

I remember seeing cartoons where the characters were traveling or lost in a desert and undoubtedly someone would come across a mirage or an optical illusion. I remember a character was hot and thirsty and thought they saw a soda machine standing out in the sand. He excitedly ran over to it only to discover that it was just a large cactus. His eyes and his mind were just playing a trick on him.

I have found myself in a spiritual desert, feeling hot and dry and empty. I didn't start out there, of course but things I did or didn't do brought my there slowly but surely without me even realizing it.

Once upon a time I was going along, having a good prayer life, seeking God's face all the time, praising and worshipping whenever I could and then I got DERAILED <---------(link to another entry). Well I picked myself up and dusted myself off but something had changed and I didn't even know it. I slowed down on my praying and praising and worshipping. I didn't quit. I just eased back little by little.

One day I was laying around and realized hey, it's been a minute since I've been on my knees. And I told myself "Well, I am still a little ticked with God about the whole derailment thing. I'll start again soon. I'm still feeling at peace. I still know God's in charge and it's all good." And that conversation continued and continued and continued. I would tell myself that God knows my heart. He knows better that I do what I'm going through. I'm not feeling any conflicts or anxiety.

I had built up plenty of peace and joy from before. My storehouse was FULL of prayers and praise and worship. A few days here and there won't hurt. I still feel at peace and it's all good. And it was true...I did have a plenty of Prayers and Grace and Mercy stored up, (we'll call it PGM for short). But guess what happened each and day? I USED SOME OF MY PGM!

Every day, from the time I opened my eyes until I closed them again at night, I would use a measure of PGM. I don't know if I used a cup one day or a gallon the next. But I was using up all of the PGM I had stored and was NEVER REPLENISHING IT. And it started getting low. I didn't know it was. I didn't feel like it was. But it was. Imagine that I bought a ton of flour and put it up in a barn, but I baked bread every day of the week. Eventually, over time, you know I am bound to run out.

So without even realizing it, I was traveling myself through a desert situation. Please note that no one else is involved here. This is ALL ME! Now when I started this trip, I had plenty of food and water (my PGM) but I started using it every day until eventually I found myself dashing towards a soda machine only to find out that it was just a cactus. I was seeing mirages; situations and issues that my mind was creating because I was running so low on my PGMs.

But oh don't you know that the Lord is good! Just before it got too late... right before I ran all out of PGM, I found myself walking right upon an oasis. An oasis is a small fertile or green area in a desert, usually having a spring or a well. Ooh thank you Jesus. See in the middle of my self-created desert trip, God sent me a lifeline. A place to stop and get a drink and take a good look at what I had been doing. A place to rest and realize and repent. No judgement or punishment. He wasn't going to let me run dry. He would never let my storehouse get all the way empty.

"Water will gush forth in the wilderness and streams in the desert. The burning sand will become a pool, the thirsty ground bubbling springs." Isaiah 35:6-7

That stream in the desert allowed me to get re-focused, re-energized and re-charged. And most importantly, allowed me to start re-filling my storehouse of PGM. It's wasn't too late for me and it's not too late for you. God has your oasis ready. Just seek him with your whole heart. He doesn't care why you left or where you went...He only cares that you come back.

In love,

Mona