Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Flawed Logic

I have spent so much time staring at myself in the mirror counting up all of my physical flaws. From the kinky coils of my head to the surgical scar on my foot and every inch and pound in between. 

I have wondered if these lumps and bumps were the reason that I am still single. If the sagging and drooping of age had taken a final toll on the prospects of a love life. What do people see when they look at me? Certainly not what I see when I look at myself. 

And then He reminded me that I am "fearfully and wonderfully made." (Psalm 139:14)

I remembered that this body brought forth two beautiful children. These arms consoled friends through the tragedy of losing ones they loved. These knees bent in prayer for the heartbroken and lost. This behind sat down and these ears listened to stories of betrayal, assault, molestation and abandonment and these lips spoke life. 

This body, in part and as a whole,  has been used as God's instrument for His divine purpose. Who am I to question His creation. He who knew me before I was formed in my mother's womb?

"Mona," He whispered, "You are altogether beautiful, my darling. There is no flaw in you." (Song of Solomon 4:7)

My dearest woman or man of God, there is no flaw in you. Use your temple to uplift God and mankind. Be His chosen and flawless vessel. 

In love, 
Mona 

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Removing the Bandaid

I recently re-read my entire blog. It was born in 2009 as I was trying to cope with my failing marriage. I am truly in awe of God when I look back at what I have gone through, thrived in and survived for the past 7 years. 

I once wrote a piece called "Looking Back" about how every now and again you need to look back to see how far you've come in your journey. It's so easy to ignore your growth and development in Christ - especially when you often feel like you're moving from crisis to crisis. But it is an important step to take so see that God has been bringing you along and moving your forward, even if you don't notice it. 

My journey to healing took a long, long time as I moved from faith to faithless and back again; from heartbreak and heartache to being heartened. Like the Children of Israel, I probably took ten times longer to get here than needed because of my stubbornness and stiff-necked ways. I went left when I should have gone right and ran when I should have walked but God was faithful anyhow. And here I sit, fingers moving along this same old raggedy but steady Macbook Pro keyboard, blogging as I have for the last 7 years. 

In the past years, I have suffered depression, near-ruin financially, an ill-planned move, my loss of faith. But as of now, I plan to look forward. I am removing the band-aid of my past blogs from my heart and mind because I have been healed. 

I was reminded that, like Jeremiah, I have a purpose and a destiny. "Then the Lord put forth His hand and touched my mouth, and the Lord said to me “Behold, I have put My words in your mouth. See, I have this day set you over the nations and over the kingdoms, to root out and to pull down, to destroy and to throw down, to build and to plant.” Jeremiah 1:9-10

I was reminded, like Timothy, that my lineage as rooted in the Gospel. "when I call to remembrance the genuine faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded is in you also. Therefore I remind you to stir up the gift of God which is in you through the laying on of my hands." 2 Timothy 1:6-7

So stir up the gifts is what I am going to do. I don't consider myself a prophet or preacher by any stretch of the imagination. But I will speak what thus sayeth the Lord. Mostly he'll be talking to me about my own life and my own journey of faith and I'll just share with you what He says. 

For those of us who are feeling unnecessary and unloved God says “But you, Israel, are My servant, Jacob whom I have chosen, The descendants of Abraham My friend. You whom I have taken from the ends of the earth, And called from its farthest regions, And said to you, ‘You are My servant, I have chosen you and have not cast you away: Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’” Isaiah 41:8-10 

God has a purpose and a plan for your life. But you're not going to open your mailbox and find it there. You aren't going to find your soulmate in Wegmans - trust me I've looked - but you will find your purpose in the Bible. You will find it in your prayer time and in your meditation with the Holy Spirit. Seek and ye shall find. Ask God to show you WHO you are, WHOSE you are and WHY you are. He will reveal it. 

So we all have some work to do. Here's to our journey forward. 

In love, 
Mona